Happy 15 months Kensley!

Dear Kensley,

Yesterday you turned 15 months old. There are times this month that I looked at you and you seemed so much older than 15 months. Besides the fact that you can only get out a "Hi!" or "Hey!" you are really figuring out how to get what you want. (You know, besides throwing yourself down on the ground and performing the Beyonce scream).



This month I had a lot of chances to get you ready for bed myself. I usually work at night so this special time is usually spent with grandma or GG, but work has been slower and I have been getting home before you are asleep. I absolutely love bedtime with you. I give you a bath, lotion you all up, get you a cup of milk and then we read book after book after book. You have started walking over to me with a book (Usually Pat the Bunny or Goodnight Moon) plopping it down in my lap and then staring at me. If I purposelly act like I dont know what you want you will pick up my hand and place it on the book. So we read that book and then you repeat those steps over and over until I can no longer stand to read the book again.

Can I tell you that we have created a monster? When you were younger (You know waaaay back in the day) we never really got the chance to rock you to sleep. You have always been a good sleeper and we could lay you down in the crib fully awake and within a few minutes you would be out. But I have to say that we sort of wished we got to rock you to sleep. I feel we missed out on feeling you sleep on our chests, sniffing your sweet baby scent. So we were so, so grateful when this month you really started to want to be rocked. You have never really fallen asleep while I rock you but you will lay there with your head under my chin until you get sleepy. We were so happy about this at first. But now we have to rock you EVERY TIME WE LAY YOU DOWN. If it is nap time I will rock you, if it is bed time we will rock you. Yes Kensley. WE WILL. WE WILL. ROCK YOU. And sometimes I think, "what the heck was I thinking?" We had it so easy before and now we have turned your bedtime routine into a 2 hour mini-saga. There are times now that even rocking you for a short while doesn't make you happy and I have to rock you until we have rocked you for the exact amount of time you prefer to be rocked. But you know what? I am still grateful. You may wake up tomorrow and never want to be rocked again. I DOUBT IT. But still.



You love being outside. Almost every morning after we wake up and eat breakfast you grab my arm and walk me to the front door. I know exactly what this means and unfortunately we have had a few yucky days here where it has been to cold and rainy to play. But you don't understand this and you point and grunt and say "Hi!" at the door. You look at me like, "You fool! Why must I spell it out for you?! Iwouldlikeverymuchtogooutsiderightnowthankskbye."



So when you do get to go out and play it is all the more special. The look in your eye when you discover new things is so amazing. It is so wonderful to watch you learn about your world. There are times where you run around outside with your eyes completely closed and then you peer them open slowly as if to see if it will all dissappear or if it is all as real as it seems. Sometimes I have to do the same thing when I look at you. Closing my eyes real tight, Ill open them slowly to see if you are still here. For I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have you here with me.

Love,

Mama