Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

Last night was rough. Dave got paid yesterday and a lot of his pay was missing from his check. He had PTO that he didn't receive and there were some other things wrong with it as well. I started to stress about it and cry thinking about how we were going to get all of our bills paid in the next two weeks. For those that know me they know I am a worrier. I stress over things that I have no control over until I become sick. Its something I work on and luckily, I have a husband who is very understanding with this trait that I possess. Anyway, I left in a big huff and went to the gym to work out. Working out has become such a great way for me to relieve some stress. I was on my way home when I got a text message from a very sweet friend that said-

"Hey I can't post online, but I thought I could tell you that I miscarried the baby. Kaden Matthew was 17 weeks."

That message just instantly floored me. I sat at the stop sign and instantly started to cry. My heart ached for my sweet friend. For the friend who has tried so hard, prayed so hard for that baby. I wanted to drive my car the 3+ hours to her house just so I could hug her and cry along with her. I know that pain all too well. The excitement of a positive test and the talks about hopes and dreams and then its over as quickly as it started. I wanted to fix it for her and I knew I couldn't.

And then I started to think. Here I am stressing out over bills and money. Things that always seem to work out in the end. Things that I can not control. But I have two amazing, healthy kids. My husband is not ill, and he is here with me everyday in this crazy little game called life. My family is thriving. Yes, there are things that are not perfect but nothing ever is and as I like to remind myself - things could always be so much worse and in the grand scheme of things I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

I came home and hugged my husband. I apollogized for the way I acted. And then I sat and talked to my friend for a good hour. She is in a very dark place right now and I know that right now she could use all the prayers she can get. She has an amazing husband and a sweet little boy just about Kensley's age that is helping her through this but as today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day I thought I could spread the word and see if all of you could think of her today and all the other women and men who have gone through this. There is some comfort in knowing you are not alone.