Thursday, August 5, 2010

Happy 1 month Rowan!

Dear Rowan,

Look at you buddy! Today you turn one month old and can you believe we made it out alive? Boy was this month a rough one. Maybe not so much for you, but I'm going to be completely honest and say it was for me. I am sure one day you will read this and look at me and ask what exactly could be so hard about a baby that does nothing but eat, sleep and poop. So let me break it down for you. You do a whole lot of the eating and pooping thing. Not so much the sleeping thing.


I know you are going to hate being compared to your sister, but the truth is that when your sister was born we didn't have anything to compare her to. We had to fly by the seat of our pants with her. This will sometimes benefit you, as we have a little bit more of a clue what we are doing since we have lived through it before. Just think of your sister as our guinea pig. But the thing is, you are nothing like your sister. You are you. Where your sister loved a binky, you don't really need one all that much. Where your sister ate and went right back to sleep at night, you eat and then want to be held for awhile before you drift off to sleep. Where your sister ate every two hours like clockwork, you eat every hour or sometimes half an hour and you eat a LOT. Your sister loved to be swaddled, sometimes wrapping you up like burrito makes you very happy. Sometimes it causes you to turn bright red in the face and break out of it like the Incredible Hulk. Where your sister always fell asleep in the car, there have been plenty of times that you have been wide awake and screaming your head off as we go for a "joy ride."


What I am trying to say is although we have been on this roller coaster before, yours has a few extra twists, turns and nosedives. We are still figuring out what works for you. This has been a hard month. Made even harder by the fact that daddy isn't home at night and mommy has to figure out a lot of this on her own. There have been plenty of nights where I called your daddy bawling my eyes out and telling him I couldn't take it anymore. There have also been nights where I soaked up your little scent while you laid with me in bed. The nights that I smiled at the sound of your breathing. The quick quick quick breathing followed by a huge sigh. Laughing at the little gassy smiles and the look your face makes when your eyes roll into the back of your head. There have been plenty of good times too.


The one thing we were most terrified about was bringing you home and seeing how your sister would react to you. Seems the thing we were most worried about ended up being the thing that was the easiest transition. Your sister absolutely adores you. Not once has she acted jealous of your presence. In fact, she acts more like your protector than anything else. She gets upset when you cry and we have to reassure her that you are fine. She runs into our room to check on you first thing in the morning and she is constantly gives you kisses.  This is what we dreamed of when we thought of our children. That love that is unlike any other. The love shared between siblings. This might change once you learn to crawl and chew on her toys, but for now it has been such a blessing to see.


It is so very hard to believe that a whole month has already gone by, but at the same time it seems like I can no longer remember a time that you were not a part of our lives.  We may have lost a month of sleep but we have gained so much more.


We love you so much Robuggie.



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